Mom said it was fine cuz her “future 3rd husband” George Clooney was in it.
They told Randy that it was like Deadliest Catch, and he loves that show.
I didn’t care, really. Secretly, I think Mark Wahlberg is the sexiest thing on the universe, but nobody knows that. I saw Planet of the Apes four times in the theater.
So everybody was just ok with the movie–not super into it, but ok enough to watch it together. Family time, you know?
But Dad was crazy about it.
He cried–even at the normal parts where everything was fine and the fishing guys weren’t dying. Cried through the whole thing.
He kept telling me and Randy how educational this was. How we should be so grateful to have a dad who was alive and fish at the supermarket–he couldn’t even make up his mind about what he was sad about!
So Josh texted me right at some big important part. I swear to God, I just took it out of my pocket to see what it said. I wasn’t even going to reply because Dad was right beside me, but he goes crazy any way.
“We’re trying to watch a movie, Carol Anne!”
“I should just take that damn thing away!”
“What do I have to do to have some family time around here?”
He’s nuts. Mom tries to calm him down, but it’s not working. He suggests she go marry George Clooney, who probably doesn’t care when people ignore the “emotional climax of the film.” That’s what he said.
So Randy starts crying over all the arguing. I try to take him to my room until Mom and Dad settle down, but Dad goes apey again.
“He should see this, and learn how hard life can be. He’s certainly not getting it from this damn fine movie I’m trying to watch.”
So Mom goes immediately to her trump card: she goes and gets a suitcase and starts packing in front of him.
I just texted Mom, and she says she and Randy will be back tomorrow.
Christ, I’m never watching The Perfect Storm with them ever again.